Let go of peoplepleasing from "summary" of Daring to Take Up Space by Daniell Koepke
It can be tempting to believe that if we just make ourselves smaller, quieter, and more agreeable, we will be loved and accepted by everyone around us. We may think that by constantly putting others' needs before our own, we will ensure that we never upset anyone or rock the boat. But the truth is, no matter how hard we try to please everyone, it will never be enough. People-pleasing is a losing game, because the more we try to make others happy, the more we sacrifice our own happiness and well-being. When we are constantly seeking validation and approval from others, we are giving away our power and control over our own lives. We are allowing other people's opinions and expectations to dictate how we live and who we are. But the reality is that we cannot control how others perceive us, no matter how hard we try. We cannot force people to like us or approve of us, and we will only exhaust ourselves trying. Letting go of people-pleasing means recognizing that our worth and value do not come from how others see us. It means acknowledging that we are deserving of love and respect simply because we exist, not because of what we do for others. It means setting boundaries and saying no when we need to, even if it means disappointing someone else. It means prioritizing our own needs and desires, instead of constantly putting ourselves last. When we release the need to please everyone around us, we free ourselves from the burden of living for others. We can finally focus on what truly matters to us and pursue our own happiness and fulfillment. It may be scary at first to let go of people-pleasing, but the freedom and authenticity that come with it are worth the risk. We deserve to take up space in the world as our true selves, unapologetically and without reservation.
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