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The Four Tendencies can help us understand how we respond to expectations from "summary" of Better Than Before by Gretchen Rubin
Understanding our responses to expectations is crucial for achieving our goals and making positive changes in our lives. The Four Tendencies framework provides a useful way to categorize how individuals typically respond to both inner and outer expectations. The Upholder is someone who readily meets both inner and outer expectations, making them highly reliable and motivated to meet deadlines and commitments. They are self-driven and disciplined, holding themselves accountable for their actions. In contrast, Obligers are more likely to meet outer expectations but struggle with meeting inner expectations. They are often focused on meeting the needs of others and may find it challenging to prioritize their own goals and desires. Obligers benefit from external accountability and may thrive in environments where they have clear expectations from others. Questioners, on the other hand, resist outer expectations unless they align with their internal values and beliefs. They are motivated by logic and reasoning, seeking justifications for why they should follow certain rules or guidelines. Questioners may appear rebellious at times but are driven by a need for understanding and autonomy. Finally, Rebels resist both inner and outer expectations, preferring to follow their own path and resist being told what to do. They value freedom and autonomy above all else, often thriving in unstructured environments where they can express their individuality and creativity. Rebels may struggle with routine and may need to find ways to harness their unique strengths to achieve their goals. By understanding our Tendency, we can tailor our strategies for setting and meeting expectations. For Upholders, setting clear goals and deadlines can help maintain their motivation and sense of control. Obligers may benefit from external accountability, such as working with an accountability partner or joining a group with shared goals. Questioners can benefit from understanding the reasons behind expectations and may need to find ways to align their values with their actions. Rebels may need to focus on their values and identity to motivate themselves to pursue their goals in a way that feels authentic to them.
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