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Women face societal expectations that conflict with assertive negotiation behaviors from "summary" of Women Don't Ask by Linda Babcock,Sara Laschever

In our society, women often find themselves caught in a perplexing dilemma when it comes to negotiating assertively. On one hand, they are encouraged to be polite, accommodating, and nurturing - qualities traditionally associated with femininity. On the other hand, successful negotiation requires assertiveness, confidence, and a willingness to advocate for one's own interests. These traits are often perceived as more masculine, leading to a clash between societal expectations and effective negotiation behaviors. From a young age, girls are socialized to be kind, cooperative, and considerate of others. They are taught to prioritize harmony and relationships over personal gain or advancement. This conditioning can make it challenging for women to assert themselves in negotiations, as they may fear being seen as aggressive, selfish, or unlikeable. As a result, many women tend to avoid negotiating altogether or settle for less than they deserve. Furthermore, women who do attempt to negotiate assertively may face backlash or pushback from their counterparts. Research has shown that women who advocate for themselves are often perceived more negatively than men who exhibit the same behavior. They may be labeled as "difficult," "demanding," or "bossy," while men are viewed as confident and competent. This double standard can deter women from speaking up and advocating for their needs. In addition to external pressures, internalized beliefs about gender roles and behavior can also influence women's negotiation style. Many women have been socialized to prioritize the needs of others over their own, leading them to downplay their worth or value in a negotiation. They may feel uncomfortable asserting themselves or asking for what they want, believing that doing so goes against their natural instincts or societal expectations.
  1. The societal expectations placed on women create a challenging environment for assertive negotiation. Women must navigate a complex web of conflicting messages and stereotypes, balancing the desire to be seen as likeable and nurturing with the need to advocate for themselves and their worth. Addressing these barriers requires a reevaluation of traditional gender norms and a recognition of the value of assertive negotiation for all individuals, regardless of gender.
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Women Don't Ask

Linda Babcock

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