Setting boundaries is crucial for healthy relationships from "summary" of When He's Married to Mom by Kenneth M. Adams
Setting boundaries is like drawing a line in the sand, a clear marker of what is acceptable and what is not in a relationship. It is not about controlling the other person, but about taking care of yourself and your emotional well-being. Boundaries are like fences around a garden, protecting what is inside and keeping out what can harm it. Without boundaries, relationships can become murky and confusing, with blurred lines between where one person ends and the other begins. When boundaries are not set or respected, it can lead to resentment, frustration, and a sense of being taken advantage of. It is important to communicate your boundaries clearly and assertively, without aggression or hostility. Setting boundaries is an act of self-respect and self-care, a way of saying that you value yourself and your needs. It is not selfish to set boundaries; it is necessary for maintaining a healthy and balanced relationship. Boundaries can take many forms, from physical boundaries like personal space and privacy, to emotional boundaries like not tolerating disrespectful behavior or manipulation. Setting boundaries is an ongoing process, requiring constant communication and reassessment. It is not a one-time event, but a lifelong practice of self-awareness and self-advocacy. When boundaries are violated, it is important to address the issue calmly and assertively. This does not mean starting a fight or engaging in conflict, but rather stating your boundaries clearly and firmly. It is important to be consistent in enforcing your boundaries, not allowing them to be crossed repeatedly without consequence. In setting boundaries, it is crucial to be respectful of the other person's boundaries as well. It is a two-way street, with both parties responsible for maintaining a healthy and respectful relationship. Setting boundaries is not about building walls or shutting people out; it is about creating a safe and secure space where both parties can thrive and grow together.
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