Fear of rejection from "summary" of No Longer Human by Osamu Dazai
The fear of rejection is a constant companion, a shadow that looms over every interaction, every relationship. It gnaws at the edges of my consciousness, a persistent whisper that tells me I am not good enough, not worthy of love or acceptance. It colors every word I speak, every gesture I make, tainting even the most innocent of interactions with a sense of dread. I am always on edge, always waiting for the other shoe to drop, for the inevitable moment when my flaws and shortcomings will be laid bare for all to see. I am hyper-aware of every nuance, every subtle shift in tone or expression, searching for signs of disapproval or disdain. I am quick to take offense, quick to retreat into myself at the slightest hint of rejection. But this fear is not just a product of my own insecurities; it is also a reflection of the world around me. It is born of a society that values perfection above all else, that demands conformity and compliance at every turn. It is fueled by a culture that prizes success and achievement, that equates worth with productivity and status. And so I find myself caught in a vicious cycle, constantly seeking validation and approval from others, only to be met with indifference or rejection. I am trapped in a prison of my own making, a prison built on the fear of being judged and found wanting. But even as I long for acceptance and belonging, I know deep down that this fear is a self-fulfilling prophecy. By constantly seeking validation from others, by constantly measuring my worth against external standards, I am only reinforcing my own sense of inadequacy. And so I must learn to break free from this cycle, to find a way to accept myself for who I am, flaws and all. I must learn to embrace my own imperfections, to see them not as weaknesses but as unique facets of my identity. I must learn to love myself, not in spite of my flaws, but because of them.
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