Codependents often struggle with perfectionism from "summary" of Codependency For Dummies by Darlene Lancer
Perfectionism is a common trait among codependents. It stems from the belief that love and acceptance are conditional on meeting certain standards. This belief may have originated in childhood, where codependents learned to seek approval and validation from others to feel worthy. As a result, they develop unrealistic expectations of themselves and constantly strive for perfection to avoid criticism or rejection. Codependents often set unattainable goals for themselves, believing that they must always excel in every aspect of their lives. They may judge themselves harshly for any perceived flaws or mistakes, leading to feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt. This relentless pursuit of perfection can be exhausting and damaging to their self-esteem. Additionally, codependents may project their perfectionistic tendencies onto others, expecting them to meet similarly high standards. This can create tension in relationships, as codependents may become critical or controlling when others fail to live up to their expectations. They may struggle to accept imperfections in themselves and others, leading to feelings of frustration and disappointment. Perfectionism can also manifest in a fear of failure or making mistakes. Codependents may avoid taking risks or trying new things out of a fear of not measuring up. This fear can hold them back from reaching their full potential and experiencing personal growth. In order to overcome perfectionism, codependents must learn to challenge their beliefs about self-worth and acceptance. They must cultivate self-compassion and embrace their imperfections as part of what makes them human. By letting go of unrealistic expectations and learning to appreciate themselves and others for who they are, codependents can break free from the cycle of perfectionism and find greater peace and fulfillment in their lives.
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