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Connect and redirect when emotions run high from "summary" of The Whole-Brain Child by Daniel J. Siegel,Tina Payne Bryson

When emotions run high in children, it can be challenging for them to think clearly and make rational decisions. This is because their emotional brain, specifically the amygdala, is in control, while their logical brain, the prefrontal cortex, is offline. As a result, they may act impulsively or irrationally, leading to conflict or meltdown. During these moments, it is crucial for parents to connect with their children emotionally before trying to redirect their behavior. This connection involves acknowledging and validating their feelings, showing empathy, and providing a safe space for them to express themselves. By doing so, parents can help their children feel understood and supported, which can help calm their emotional brain and re-engage their logical brain. Once a connection is established, parents can then redirect their children's behavior by offering alternatives, setting limits, or problem-solving together. This redirection should be done in a gentle and respectful manner, focusing on solutions rather than punishments. By involving children in the process and encouraging them to use their logical thinking skills, parents can help them learn how to regulate their emotions and make better choices in the future.
  1. As their own emotional state can impact their children's behavior. By modeling healthy emotional regulation and problem-solving skills, parents can teach their children valuable life lessons and strengthen their parent-child relationship. Ultimately, the goal is to help children develop a balanced and integrated brain that can effectively navigate the ups and downs of life.
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The Whole-Brain Child

Daniel J. Siegel

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