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Repair attempts are vital for repairing relationship ruptures from "summary" of The Relationship Cure by John Gottman, PhD,Joan DeClaire
When a relationship hits a rough patch, it's easy to get caught up in feelings of hurt, anger, and frustration. During these times, it can be challenging to find a way to bridge the gap and repair the rupture that has occurred between you and your partner. That's where repair attempts come in. These small gestures or actions are like the glue that holds a relationship together, even in the face of conflict and tension. Repair attempts can take many forms, from a simple apology to a heartfelt expression of love and understanding. What's important is that both partners are willing to make an effort to repair the damage that has been done. Without these repair attempts, relationship ruptures can deepen and become even harder to mend in the future. One of the key benefits of repair attempts is that they help to de-escalate conflicts and bring partners back to a place of emotional connection and understanding. By making a conscious effort to repair the rupture, both partners show that they value the relationship and are committed to working through their differences in a healthy and constructive way. It's important to remember that repair attempts are not about assigning blame or proving who is right or wrong. Instead, they are about finding common ground and moving forward together. By making a repair attempt, you are showing your partner that you care about their feelings and are willing to put in the effort to make things right. In order for repair attempts to be effective, they need to be genuine and heartfelt. It's not enough to simply go through the motions or say the right words – your partner needs to truly believe that you are sincere in your efforts to repair the relationship. This level of authenticity is what builds trust and strengthens the emotional bond between partners. By consistently making repair attempts, you are creating a foundation of trust and mutual respect that can weather even the toughest storms. Instead of letting conflicts drive you apart, repair attempts can bring you closer together and help you grow stronger as a couple. So the next time you find yourself in the midst of a relationship rupture, remember the power of repair attempts to heal and strengthen your bond.
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