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Striving for perfection often leads to discontent and anxiety from "summary" of Pursuit of Perfect by Tal Ben-Shahar

Striving for perfection can be a double-edged sword. On one hand, it can motivate us to do our best and achieve great things. On the other hand, it can lead to discontent and anxiety when we inevitably fall short of our impossibly high standards. This pursuit of perfection often comes from a place of fear - fear of failure, of rejection, of not being good enough. We believe that if we can just be perfect, then we will finally be worthy of love and acceptance. However, this belief is flawed. Perfection is an unattainable goal, a moving target that will always be just out of reach. As psychologist Carl Rogers said, "The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change." In other words, true growth and change can only come from self-acceptance, not self-criticism. When we strive for perfection, we set ourselves up for disappointment. We become hyper-focused on our flaws and mistakes, constantly comparing ourselves to an ideal that doesn't actually exist. This constant self-criticism can lead to feelings of inadequacy, anxiety, and even depression. Ironically, our pursuit of perfection can actually hinder our growth and success. When we are afraid to make mistakes or take risks, we limit ourselves and miss out on valuable opportunities for learning and growth. As author David Foster Wallace said, "If your fidelity to perfectionism is too high, you never do anything."
  1. The key to true happiness and fulfillment lies not in the pursuit of perfection, but in the acceptance of our imperfect selves. When we can embrace our flaws and mistakes as part of what makes us human, we can find peace and contentment in the present moment. It is only when we let go of our need to be perfect that we can truly be free to live authentically and wholeheartedly.
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Pursuit of Perfect

Tal Ben-Shahar

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