Disillusionment with reality from "summary" of No Longer Human by Osamu Dazai
The feeling of being out of touch with reality is a heavy burden to bear. It creeps up on you slowly, like a shadow in the night, until suddenly you find yourself drowning in a sea of emptiness. Everything around you begins to lose its color and meaning, like a painting left out in the rain. You try to grasp onto something, anything, that will anchor you back to the world you once knew, but it slips through your fingers like sand. The people around you become distant and unfamiliar, their words and actions ringing hollow in your ears. You try to connect with them, to understand them, but it's like speaking a different language. You feel like an outsider in your own life, watching from the sidelines as the world moves on without you. It's a lonely existence, trapped in a cage of your own making. You start to question everything – your choices, your beliefs, your very existence. What is the point of it all? Why bother with the charade of living when nothing seems real anymore? The boundaries between fantasy and reality blur until you can no longer tell the two apart. You become lost in a haze of disillusionment, unable to find your way back to solid ground. The weight of this disillusionment bears down on you like a heavy cloak, suffocating you with its darkness. It's a constant struggle to keep your head above water, to find some semblance of meaning in a world that feels increasingly empty. You long for something – anything – to jolt you back to life, to remind you that there is still beauty and joy to be found in the world. But as the days stretch on, you realize that this feeling of disillusionment is not a passing phase. It has become a part of you, woven into the fabric of your being. You are no longer human in the traditional sense – you are something else, something apart from the rest of the world. And as you continue to drift further and further away from reality, you wonder if you will ever find your way back.
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