Cycles of selfloathing from "summary" of No Longer Human by Osamu Dazai
This endless cycle of self-loathing is a relentless force that grips the soul with a firm, unyielding grasp. It begins with a seed of doubt, a tiny voice whispering in the dark corners of the mind. Slowly, almost imperceptibly, this doubt grows into a consuming self-hatred that gnaws away at the very core of one's being. As the self-loathing takes root, it feeds off the smallest mistakes and shortcomings, magnifying them until they loom large and insurmountable. Every misstep becomes a testament to one's inherent worthlessness, a confirmation of all the negative beliefs that have taken hold. In the depths of this self-loathing, the individual is consumed by a sense of profound alienation from the world around them. They see themselves as fundamentally different, fundamentally flawed, unable to connect with others in any meaningful way. This isolation only serves to deepen the self-loathing, creating a vicious cycle of despair and loneliness. In the grip of this cycle, the individual may turn to self-destructive behaviors in a desperate attempt to numb the pain of their self-loathing. They may seek solace in alcohol, drugs, or other forms of escapism, only to find that these temporary reprieves only serve to worsen their feelings of worthlessness. And so the cycle continues, each turn of the wheel dragging the individual deeper into the abyss of self-hatred. It is a cycle that seems impossible to break, a relentless force that holds its victims in a vice-like grip. And yet, in the darkness of this self-loathing, there may still be a glimmer of hope, a flicker of light that promises the possibility of escape.
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