Offer choices instead of commands from "summary" of How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk by Adele Faber,Elaine Mazlish
When we offer choices to children instead of commanding them, we give them a sense of autonomy and control over their lives. This fosters independence and helps them develop decision-making skills. For example, instead of telling a child to put on their shoes, we can ask, "Do you want to wear your red sneakers or your blue sandals?" This way, the child feels empowered to make a choice and is more likely to cooperate. By offering choices, we respect children's individual preferences and personalities. It shows that we value their input and opinions, which can strengthen our relationship with them. When children feel heard and respected, they are more likely to listen to us in return. For instance, instead of telling a child to eat their vegetables, we can ask, "Do you want carrots or broccoli with your dinner?" This not only gives the child a sense of control but also encourages them to try new foods. Furthermore, offering choices can help prevent power struggles and conflicts. When children feel forced to comply with commands, they may resist or act out in defiance. However, when given options, they are more likely to feel engaged and cooperative. For instance, instead of telling a child to go to bed, we can ask, "Do you want to brush your teeth first or pick out a bedtime story?" This allows the child to feel a sense of ownership over their bedtime routine.- Offering choices instead of commands is a powerful tool in communicating with children. It empowers them, respects their individuality, and reduces conflicts. By incorporating choices into our interactions with children, we can build stronger connections and foster positive behavior. So next time, instead of telling a child what to do, try offering them a choice and see the difference it makes.
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