Let go of the need for external validation from "summary" of Finding Your Own North Star by Martha Beck
Releasing the insatiable hunger for external validation is a difficult task for most of us. From our earliest days, we are conditioned to seek approval from others as a measure of our self-worth. Parents, teachers, friends, and society as a whole constantly judge and evaluate us, shaping our identities based on their assessments. As a result, we grow up believing that our value as individuals is contingent upon the opinions of others. This unrelenting need for external validation can become a prison from which we struggle to break free. We find ourselves trapped in a cycle of seeking approval, performing for others, and feeling empty and unsatisfied when we inevitably fall short. The pursuit of validation from external sources is a never-ending battle, as no amount of praise or recognition can fill the void within us. However, the truth is that external validation is an illusion - a fleeting high that quickly dissipates, leaving us craving more. True validation can only come from within, from a deep sense of self-acceptance and self-love that is not dependent on the opinions of others. When we learn to let go of our need for external validation, we free ourselves from the shackles of others' expectations and judgments. By turning inward and connecting with our own inner compass, we can discover our true worth and cultivate a sense of self-validation that is unshakable. This inner validation is grounded in our authenticity, our values, and our unique gifts and qualities. It is a source of strength and resilience that empowers us to navigate life's challenges with grace and confidence. When we release the need for external validation, we reclaim our power and define success on our own terms. We no longer rely on others to validate our choices, our beliefs, or our worthiness. Instead, we trust in ourselves and our own innate wisdom to guide us on our journey towards fulfillment and joy. In letting go of the need for external validation, we open ourselves up to a world of infinite possibilities and potential.
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