Avoid inadvertently reinforcing undesired behaviors from "summary" of Don't Shoot the Dog! by Karen Pryor
When you're trying to change someone's behavior, it's easy to fall into the trap of inadvertently reinforcing the very behavior you're trying to eliminate. This happens when you give attention or rewards to undesired behaviors, thinking that you're somehow helping the situation. In reality, you're only making things worse by encouraging the person to continue behaving in that way. For example, if a child throws a tantrum in a store because they want a toy, giving in and buying them the toy just to make them stop crying is a classic case of inadvertently reinforcing undesired behavior. The child learns that throwing a tantrum gets them what they want, so they're more likely to do it again in the future. Similarly, if a dog jumps on you when you come home and you push them away or yell at them, the dog might see this as attention and continue jumping on you as a way to get your attention. In this case, even negative attention is still attention, which can reinforce the undesired behavior. To avoid inadvertently reinforcing undesired behaviors, it's important to be mindful of the consequences of your actions. Instead of reacting impulsively, take a step back and think about how your response might impact the situation in the long run. By withholding attention or rewards when undesired behaviors occur, you can help extinguish those behaviors over time. In the case of the child throwing a tantrum, ignoring the behavior and not giving in to their demands teaches them that tantrums won't get them what they want. With consistency and patience, the child will learn more appropriate ways to communicate their needs without resorting to tantrums. Similarly, with the jumping dog, turning away and only giving attention when the dog has all four paws on the ground teaches them that jumping is not an effective way to get your attention. By reinforcing the desired behavior of sitting calmly when you come home, you can eventually eliminate the jumping behavior altogether.
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