Shame diminishes our sense of worthiness and belonging from "summary" of Daring Greatly : How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead by Brene Brown
Shame has the power to diminish our sense of worthiness and belonging in profound ways. When we experience shame, we internalize the belief that we are not good enough or worthy of love and connection. This feeling of unworthiness can lead us to withdraw from others and isolate ourselves, thinking that we are not deserving of belonging. Shame convinces us that we are fundamentally flawed and unworthy of acceptance. It tells us that we are not enough as we are, and that we must hide our true selves in order to fit in and be loved. This fear of rejection drives us to wear masks and pretend to be someone we are not, sacrificing our authenticity and true selves in the process. As shame takes hold of us, we start to believe that we are alone in our struggles and that no one else could possibly understand what we are going through. This sense of isolation further erodes our sense of belonging, making us feel like outsiders in our own lives. We become disconnected from others and from ourselves, trapped in a cycle of self-doubt and self-criticism. The more we try to hide our shame and pretend to be perfect, the more disconnected we become from those around us. We start to build walls around ourselves, keeping others at arm's length to protect ourselves from the pain of rejection and judgment. In doing so, we cut ourselves off from the very thing we crave the most – true connection and belonging. To break free from the grip of shame, we must have the courage to be vulnerable and show up as our authentic selves, imperfections and all. By embracing our vulnerabilities and owning our stories, we can start to cultivate a sense of worthiness and belonging that is rooted in our true selves. It is through this act of courage and authenticity that we can begin to heal the wounds of shame and reconnect with others in a meaningful way.
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