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Address resistance and defensiveness with empathy from "summary" of Crucial Accountability: Tools for Resolving Violated Expectations, Broken Commitments, and Bad Behavior, Second Edition by Kerry Patterson,Joseph Grenny,Ron McMillan,Al Switzler,David Maxfield

When encountering resistance and defensiveness, it is crucial to respond with empathy. This means acknowledging the other person's perspective, feelings, and experiences without judgment. By showing empathy, you demonstrate that you value and understand their point of view, which can help defuse the situation and open up lines of communication. Empathy involves actively listening to the other person, seeking to understand their emotions, and validating their feelings. This requires putting yourself in their shoes and trying to see things from their perspective. By showing empathy, you can build trust and rapport, which are essential for resolving conflicts and addressing problematic behaviors. In addition to empathy, it is important to remain calm and composed when faced with resistance and defensiveness. This means controlling your own emotions and reactions, even if the other person becomes agitated or confrontational. By staying calm, you can create a safe space for the other person to express themselves without fear of judgment or reprisal. Furthermore, it is essential to maintain a collaborative and solution-focused mindset when addressing resistance and defensiveness. Instead of viewing the other person as an adversary, approach the situation as an opportunity to work together towards a resolution. By focusing on finding common ground and mutually beneficial solutions, you can foster a sense of teamwork and cooperation.
  1. Addressing resistance and defensiveness with empathy is a powerful approach for resolving conflicts and promoting positive communication. By showing understanding, remaining calm, and maintaining a collaborative mindset, you can create a supportive and respectful environment where issues can be effectively addressed and behaviors can be improved.
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Crucial Accountability: Tools for Resolving Violated Expectations, Broken Commitments, and Bad Behavior, Second Edition

Kerry Patterson

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