Codependency often involves a fear of abandonment from "summary" of Codependency For Dummies by Darlene Lancer
Codependency often involves a fear of abandonment. This fear can stem from past experiences or early relationships where one felt neglected, rejected, or abandoned. As a result, individuals who struggle with codependency may go to great lengths to avoid being left alone or abandoned by others. They may engage in people-pleasing behaviors, become overly dependent on others for validation and approval, or sacrifice their own needs and desires in order to maintain a connection with someone. The fear of abandonment can drive individuals to seek out relationships that are unhealthy or toxic. They may stay in relationships that are emotionally or physically abusive because they are afraid of being alone. This fear can also manifest in a fear of conflict or confrontation, leading individuals to avoid expressing their true thoughts and feelings in order to avoid rocking the boat and potentially driving the other person away. Codependent individuals may also struggle with setting boundaries in their relationships. They may have a difficult time saying no or asserting their own needs and desires, out of a fear that doing so will lead to rejection or abandonment. This can create a cycle of enabling behaviors, where the codependent individual continues to prioritize the needs of others over their own well-being. In order to break free from the cycle of codependency, individuals must work on addressing their underlying fear of abandonment. This may involve seeking therapy, engaging in self-reflection, and learning how to establish healthy boundaries in relationships. By developing a greater sense of self-worth and self-love, individuals can begin to let go of their fear of abandonment and create healthier, more fulfilling relationships based on mutual respect and communication.
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