This disconnect can lead to frustration and conflict in relationships from "summary" of You Just Don't Understand by Deborah Tannen
When we are communicating with others, we often assume that the way we express ourselves is clear and easily understood. However, what we fail to realize is that our communication style may not necessarily match that of the person we are speaking with. This mismatch in communication styles can create a disconnect that leads to frustration and conflict in relationships. For example, some people may prefer to communicate directly and to the point, while others may use more indirect and subtle ways of expressing themselves. This difference in communication styles can cause misunderstandings, as the direct communicator may perceive the indirect communicator as being unclear or evasive, while the indirect communicator may view the direct communicator as being aggressive or rude. Furthermore, men and women often have different communication styles, which can also lead to misunderstandings. Men tend to use communication as a way to assert their independence and maintain status, while women often use communication to create connections and foster relationships. This difference in communication styles can result in men feeling criticized or attacked when women are simply trying to connect, and women feeling ignored or dismissed when men are simply trying to assert themselves. In addition, cultural differences can also play a role in communication disconnects. Different cultures have different norms and expectations when it comes to communication, and what may be considered appropriate in one culture may be seen as offensive in another. This lack of cultural awareness can lead to misunderstandings and conflict in relationships.- It is important to recognize and understand the different ways in which people communicate in order to avoid unnecessary frustration and conflict. By being aware of these differences and making an effort to bridge the communication gap, we can improve our relationships and foster better understanding and connection with others.
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