Abusers use physical violence to maintain power and control from "summary" of Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft
Abusers use physical violence as a way to keep their partners under their thumb. It's not just about exploding in a fit of rage - although that's certainly part of it. The violence is a method of control, a way of letting her know that she'd better not step out of line. It's a way of keeping her in a state of fear and intimidation, a way of making sure she knows who's boss. Physical violence is a powerful tool of domination. It sends a clear message: "I can hurt you if I want to, so you'd better do what I say." And it's not just about the pain itself - it's about the threat of pain, the possibility that things could escalate at any moment. The fear of violence can be just as potent as the violence itself. But physical violence is just one part of the larger pattern of control. It goes hand in hand with emotional abuse, verbal abuse, financial abuse, and more. Each of these tactics serves to keep her under his thumb, to maintain his power and control over her. It's all about keeping her in a state of submission, of making sure she knows her place. And that's the key point: it's all about power and control. The abuser wants to be the one calling the shots, the one making the decisions, the one with all the power. And he'll use whatever means necessary to maintain that control - whether it's physical violence, emotional manipulation, or any other tactic in his arsenal. So when we talk about physical violence in the context of abuse, we're not just talking about isolated incidents of anger or aggression. We're talking about a systematic pattern of control, a deliberate strategy to keep her in a state of fear and submission. It's a dark and twisted dynamic, but it's crucial to understand if we're going to help survivors break free from the cycle of abuse.
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