Take breaks during arguments from "summary" of The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by John Gottman
During a heated argument, it can be tempting to keep pushing forward in an attempt to resolve the issue. However, it is important to recognize when the conversation is becoming too intense and taking a toll on both partners. This is where taking breaks during arguments can be incredibly beneficial. When emotions are running high, it becomes difficult to communicate effectively and truly listen to your partner. By taking a break, you give yourselves the opportunity to cool down and collect your thoughts. This can help prevent saying things you may regret later and allow for a more productive conversation once you reconvene. During the break, it is important to focus on self-soothing techniques to calm yourself. This could involve taking deep breaths, going for a walk, or engaging in a relaxing activity. By managing your own emotions, you are better prepared to come back to the conversation with a clearer mind and a more open heart. It is also crucial to set a time limit for the break to avoid prolonging the argument unnecessarily. Agree on a specific amount of time to step away and commit to returning to the conversation once that time has passed. This shows respect for your partner and the issue at hand. When you do come back together, approach the conversation with empathy and a willingness to understand each other's perspective. Remember that the goal is not to win the argument but to find a resolution that works for both of you. By taking breaks during arguments, you are demonstrating a commitment to healthy communication and a stronger relationship.
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