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Practice selfsoothing from "summary" of The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by John Gottman

When you feel overwhelmed during a conflict with your partner, it's important to take a step back and practice selfsoothing. This means finding ways to calm yourself down before continuing the conversation. One effective way to do this is by taking deep breaths and focusing on your breath as it moves in and out of your body. This simple act can help regulate your emotions and bring a sense of calm to the situation. Another way to practice selfsoothing is by taking a short break from the conversation. This doesn't mean walking away and avoiding the issue altogether, but rather taking a few minutes to collect your thoughts and center yourself before returning to the discussion. During this break, you can engage in activities that help you relax, such as going for a walk, listening to calming music, or practicing mindfulness techniques. It's also important to pay attention to your body during moments of conflict. Notice if you're feeling tense or agitated, and take steps to release that physical tension. You can do this by stretching, doing some light exercise, or even taking a warm bath. By addressing the physical aspects of stress, you can help calm your mind as well. In addition to these strategies, it can be helpful to engage in self-soothing activities on a regular basis to build resilience and emotional regulation. This might include practices such as meditation, journaling, or spending time in nature. By incorporating these activities into your daily routine, you can cultivate a sense of inner peace that will serve you well during times of conflict in your relationship.
  1. Practicing selfsoothing is a crucial skill for maintaining a healthy and strong marriage. By taking the time to calm yourself down during moments of stress, you can approach conflicts with a clearer mind and a more open heart, leading to more productive and fulfilling conversations with your partner.
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The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work

John Gottman

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