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Make repair attempts from "summary" of The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by John Gottman, Ph.D.
In any relationship, conflict is bound to happen. It's not a matter of if, but when. What separates happy couples from unhappy ones is not the absence of conflict, but how they navigate it. One key element in navigating conflict successfully is the concept of making repair attempts. Repair attempts are any statement or action—silly or otherwise—that prevents negativity from escalating out of control. They can be as simple as making a joke, offering a hug, or simply acknowledging your partner's feelings. The important thing is that they are genuine and come from a place of wanting to repair the relationship. When couples are able to make repair attempts during a conflict, it not only diffuses the tension in the moment but also strengthens the overall bond between them. It shows that both partners are willing to put in the effort to make things right, even when things get tough. However, it's important to note that not all repair attempts will be successful. What matters is that both partners are making the effort to try. In fact, research has shown that even if repair attempts fail, the relationship can still benefit from the effort put in. So, the next time you find yourself in a conflict with your partner, remember the power of making repair attempts. It might just be the key to keeping your relationship strong and healthy in the long run.
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