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Struggle with jealousy from "summary" of The Lover's Dictionary by David Levithan

It's not a rational emotion, jealousy. It makes me feel as if I'm not enough, as if I'm constantly falling short. It's a battle I fight within myself, a struggle that consumes me from the inside out. I know it's not healthy, that it's toxic to both me and the relationship, but I can't seem to shake it. I see you talking to someone else, laughing at their jokes, and I can feel the jealousy rising up in me like a tidal wave. I try to push it down, to ignore it, but it always manages to resurface. It's like a monster lurking in the shadows, waiting for the perfect moment to strike. And when it does, it's all-consuming. I know it's my own insecurities that fuel this jealousy. I know that it's not fair to you, that you've done nothing wrong. But in those moments, logic goes out the window. All I can think about is how I'm not good enough, how I'll never measure up. It's a constant battle, this struggle with jealousy. Some days I win, managing to keep it at bay. Other days, it wins, consuming me whole. But I keep fighting, keep trying to overcome it. Because I know that if I don't, it will destroy everything we've built together. And that's a risk I'm not willing to take.
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    The Lover's Dictionary

    David Levithan

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