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Assumptions can lead to conflict and pain from "summary" of The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz,Janet Mills
When we make assumptions, we believe we know what others are thinking. We assume they think the way we do, that they judge the way we judge, and expect us to do things the way we think they should be done. All the sadness and drama you have lived in your life was rooted in making assumptions and taking things personally. The whole world of control between humans is about making assumptions and taking things personally. We make assumptions about what others are doing or thinking - we take it personally - then we blame them and react by sending emotional poison with our word. This creates a whole big drama for nothing. When we make assumptions, it leads to misunderstandings, conflicts, and ultimately pain. The way to avoid misunderstandings is to have the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness, and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life. When we don't understand something, we make assumptions about the meaning, and we believe we are right about the assumptions. Then we defend our assumptions and try to make someone else wrong. Assumptions create a lot of suffering in our relationships. They can lead to arguments, fights, and even breakups. The way to avoid assumptions is to have the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. With clear communication, you can avoid misunderstandings, sadness, and drama. Don't make assumptions, and if you don't understand, ask. It is always better to ask questions than to make assumptions because assumptions set us up for suffering. Make a conscious effort to understand what others are really saying, and you will avoid making assumptions that lead to conflict and pain.
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