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Agreement 3: Don't make assumptions from "summary" of The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz,Janet Mills
Agreement 3 invites us to be aware of the power of assumptions and the potential harm they can cause in our relationships. When we make assumptions, we believe we know what others are thinking, feeling, or intending without actually knowing. This can lead to misunderstandings, conflicts, and unnecessary suffering. Assumptions are often based on our own past experiences, beliefs, and conditioning. We project our inner world onto others, assuming they see the world the same way we do. However, everyone has their own unique perspective shaped by their own experiences and beliefs. By making assumptions, we limit our understanding of others and create barriers to effective communication. When we make assumptions, we also take things personally. We interpret the words and actions of others through our own filters, assuming they are directed at us in some way. This can lead to feelings of anger, resentment, and hurt. In reality, people's behavior is more a reflection of their own beliefs and experiences than a judgment of us. To break the cycle of assumptions, we must learn to ask questions and seek clarification. Instead of jumping to conclusions, we can communicate openly and honestly with others. By seeking to understand rather than assuming, we create space for deeper connections and mutual respect. This requires humility, vulnerability, and a willingness to let go of our need to be right. By practicing Agreement 3, we can cultivate more meaningful and authentic relationships based on trust and understanding. We can let go of the need to control or manipulate others through assumptions and instead embrace the beauty of uncertainty and curiosity. In doing so, we free ourselves from the chains of judgment and create space for love and compassion to flourish.
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