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Avoid blaming others for your own feelings from "summary" of The Dance of Connection by Harriet Lerner
Blaming others for our feelings is a common tendency that many of us fall into. It's so much easier to point the finger outward rather than taking a closer look at ourselves. When we blame someone else for how we feel, we are essentially giving away our power. We are saying that our emotional well-being is in the hands of others, when in reality, it is our own responsibility. By blaming others for our feelings, we are also avoiding the opportunity for growth and self-awareness. When we take the time to examine our own emotions and understand why we are feeling a certain way, we can learn more about ourselves and what triggers our reactions. This self-reflection can lead to greater self-awareness and personal development. Taking ownership of our feelings is not about denying the role that others may play in our emotions. It is about recognizing that while external events or people may trigger our feelings, it is ultimately our own interpretations and reactions that shape our emotional experiences. By acknowledging this, we can begin to take back control of our emotional well-being. When we stop blaming others for our feelings, we also open up the possibility for healthier and more authentic relationships. By taking responsibility for our emotions, we can communicate more effectively with others and express our needs and boundaries in a clear and constructive way. This can lead to more open and honest connections with those around us.- Avoiding blaming others for our feelings is about taking ownership of our emotional well-being and recognizing the power that we have to shape our own experiences. It is about moving away from a victim mentality and towards a more empowered and self-aware way of relating to ourselves and others. By doing so, we can cultivate greater emotional resilience and create more fulfilling and meaningful relationships in our lives.
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