Be patient and nonjudgmental from "summary" of The Advice Trap by Michael Bungay Stanier
When you're trying to break free from the advice-giving habit that plagues so many of us, especially as leaders, one of the most important qualities you can cultivate is patience. It can be difficult to resist the urge to jump in with your own solutions or recommendations when someone comes to you with a problem. But taking a step back and allowing the other person the space to think and talk through their issue can lead to more meaningful conversations and ultimately better outcomes. Being patient also means being willing to sit with uncertainty and discomfort. It's natural to want to resolve things quickly and move on, but sometimes the most valuable insights come from sitting with a problem and allowing it to unfold at its own pace. This requires a certain level of trust in the process and in the other person's ability to find their own way. Nonjudgmental listening is another key aspect of breaking the advice-giving cycle. It's easy to slip into a mindset of evaluating and critiquing the other person's thoughts or actions, but this can shut down communication and prevent the real issues from coming to the surface. Instead, strive to listen without passing judgment, allowing the other person to be vulnerable and honest without fear of reprisal. By combining patience with a nonjudgmental attitude, you create a space where true learning and growth can take place. This approach encourages deeper reflection and self-discovery, helping the other person to uncover their own insights and solutions. It's not always easy to resist the temptation to jump in and offer your own advice, but by practicing patience and nonjudgmental listening, you can become a more effective leader and coach.
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