Tormented soul seeking connection from "summary" of No Longer Human by 太宰治
I am consumed by an insatiable desire to connect with others, to break free from the chains of my own torment. I wander through life aimlessly, searching for a place where I can truly belong, where I can find solace in the warmth of human connection. Yet, no matter how hard I try, I cannot seem to escape the darkness that lurks within me, the pain that haunts my every waking moment. I yearn for someone to understand the turmoil that rages inside me, to see past the facade I put up to hide my true self. But as much as I long for this connection, I am also afraid of it. Afraid of revealing the depths of my despair, of being rejected and abandoned once again. So I push people away, keeping them at arm's length, afraid to let them see the brokenness that lies beneath the surface. I am a prisoner of my own mind, trapped in a cycle of self-destruction that I cannot seem to break free from. The more I yearn for connection, the more I push it away, the more I sabotage any chance of finding the solace I so desperately seek. And so, I continue to wander, lost and alone, a tormented soul adrift in a sea of emptiness. But still, deep down, I hold on to a glimmer of hope that one day, I will find the connection I so desperately crave. That one day, someone will see past my pain and reach out to me, offering me the lifeline I need to pull myself out of the darkness. Until that day comes, I will continue to search, to yearn, to long for a connection that may never come.
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