Focus on solutions rather than blame from "summary" of How to Talk So Teens Will Listen and Listen So Teens Will Talk by Adele Faber,Elaine Mazlish
When faced with a problem involving your teen, it can be easy to fall into the trap of assigning blame. Finger-pointing may seem like the natural response, especially when emotions are running high. However, this approach rarely leads to productive solutions. Instead of focusing on who is at fault, it is more helpful to shift your attention to finding a way to address the issue at hand. By directing your energy towards seeking solutions, you can create a more constructive and collaborative environment for problem-solving. When blame is eliminated from the equation, both you and your teen can work together towards a resolution without the distraction of defensiveness or resentment. When you adopt a solutions-oriented mindset, you are fostering a sense of teamwork and cooperation. This approach encourages open communication and mutual respect, laying the foundation for a healthier relationship with your teen. Rather than getting caught up in a cycle of accusation and recrimination, you can focus on finding common ground and reaching a positive outcome. In the midst of a disagreement or conflict, it can be challenging to set aside feelings of anger or frustration. However, by staying committed to the goal of finding solutions, you can prevent arguments from escalating and maintain a sense of forward momentum. This can help you and your teen move past disagreements more quickly and effectively.- By prioritizing solutions over blame, you can create a more supportive and understanding dynamic with your teen. This approach allows you to address challenges together, rather than allowing them to drive a wedge between you. When both parties are committed to finding common ground and working towards a resolution, conflicts can be resolved more smoothly and relationships can grow stronger.
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