Set limits with empathy from "summary" of How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish by
When children misbehave, it is important to set limits in a way that shows understanding and empathy towards their feelings. It is essential to acknowledge their emotions and let them know that you understand why they may be acting out. By doing so, you are validating their feelings and showing them that you care about what they are going through. Setting limits with empathy involves putting yourself in your child's shoes and trying to see things from their perspective. This does not mean that you have to condone their behavior, but rather that you are trying to understand the underlying reasons behind it. By showing empathy, you are creating a connection with your child and helping them feel heard and understood. When setting limits, it is important to be firm and consistent, but also compassionate. You can acknowledge your child's feelings while still enforcing the rules. For example, you can say something like, "I know you are upset that you can't have another cookie, but it's important to eat healthy foods." This approach shows that you are listening to your child's concerns while also standing your ground. It is also important to use positive language when setting limits with empathy. Instead of saying "No, you can't do that," you can say something like, "I understand that you want to stay up late, but it's time for bed now." By framing your limits in a positive way, you are more likely to get cooperation from your child.- Setting limits with empathy involves a delicate balance between being firm and understanding. It is about acknowledging your child's feelings while also enforcing the rules. By approaching discipline in this way, you can foster a healthy and respectful relationship with your child.
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