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Peer orientation can undermine parental influence from "summary" of Hold on to Your Kids by Gordon Neufeld,Gabor Maté
When children become more attached to their peers than to their parents, a shift in influence occurs. Suddenly, the opinions and behaviors of friends become more important than those of the parents. This phenomenon, known as peer orientation, can have a detrimental effect on the parent-child relationship. Parents often find themselves in a position where they are competing with their child's peers for influence. Children who are more peer-oriented may resist their parents' guidance and authority, as they are more concerned with fitting in with their friends. This can lead to power struggles and conflicts within the family dynamic. Furthermore, when children are primarily influenced by their peers, they may adopt values and beliefs that are not in line with those of their parents. This can create a disconnect between parents and children, leading to misunderstandings and a breakdown in communication. In addition, parents may feel isolated and frustrated when their children turn to their peers for support and validation instead of coming to them. This can erode the parent-child bond and leave parents feeling powerless in their role.- Peer orientation can weaken the influence that parents have over their children, making it more challenging for parents to guide and support their children as they navigate the complexities of adolescence. By understanding the impact of peer orientation, parents can work towards building a stronger connection with their children and reclaiming their influence in their lives.
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