Focus on reinforcing the behavior you want to see more of from "summary" of Don't Shoot the Dog! by Karen Pryor
The key to shaping behavior successfully is to focus on reinforcing the behavior you want to see more of. It sounds simple, but it can be easy to forget in the heat of the moment. It's natural to want to correct mistakes, to stop unwanted behavior in its tracks. But punishment isn't always the most effective way to change behavior. Instead of focusing on what you don't want, focus on what you do want. Reinforce the behaviors that are moving you in the right direction. If you want your dog to sit instead of jump, reinforce sitting. If you want your child to speak politely instead of shouting, reinforce polite speech. By reinforcing the behaviors you want to see more of, you are encouraging the right path. When you catch someone doing something right, acknowledge it. Positive reinforcement is a powerful tool for shaping behavior. In training a dog, for example, you would reward the dog with a treat when it sits on command. This reinforces the behavior of sitting and increases the likelihood that the dog will sit on command in the future. The same principle applies to human behavior. If you want someone to continue doing something, make sure to reinforce it. Positive reinforcement can be as simple as a smile, a kind word, or a pat on the back. By focusing on reinforcing the behavior you want to see more of, you are setting yourself up for success. It may take time and patience, but positive reinforcement is a more effective way to change behavior in the long run. So, next time you find yourself wanting to correct a mistake, remember to focus on what you do want instead. Reinforce the behavior you want to see more of, and watch as it grows and develops over time.
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