Focus on the behavior, not the person from "summary" of Crucial Confrontations: Tools for talking about broken promises, violated expectations, and bad behavior by Kerry Patterson,Joseph Grenny,Ron McMillan,Al Switzler
When it comes to addressing difficult situations where someone's behavior has caused harm or conflict, it is crucial to focus on the specific actions or behaviors that are problematic rather than targeting the individual themselves. By directing the conversation towards the behavior in question, you can avoid making the other person feel attacked or defensive, which can often lead to further tensions or resistance. This approach allows for a more objective and constructive dialogue, where the focus is on addressing the issue at hand rather than casting blame or judgment on the person. By keeping the conversation centered on the behavior, you are more likely to reach a resolution or understanding that is beneficial for both parties involved. Moreover, by separating the behavior from the person, you can avoid making sweeping generalizations or assumptions about their character or intentions. This can help in maintaining a respectful and productive tone throughout the confrontation, promoting open communication and mutual respect. When discussing the behavior, it is important to provide specific examples or instances where the problematic behavior occurred. This helps in clarifying the issue and providing concrete evidence for why the behavior is problematic or unacceptable. By being clear and specific in your feedback, you can ensure that the other person understands the impact of their actions and the need for change. In addition, focusing on the behavior allows for a more objective and solution-oriented approach to addressing the issue. It shifts the focus from personal attacks or criticisms to a discussion of how the behavior can be improved or changed in the future. This can lead to more effective problem-solving and collaboration in finding a resolution that is satisfactory for all parties involved.
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