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The stories we tell ourselves shape our reality from "summary" of What Happened to You? by Oprah Winfrey,Bruce D. Perry
Our brains are wired to make sense of the world. From the moment we are born, we are constantly absorbing information and forming connections. As we grow, our experiences shape the way we perceive ourselves and the world around us. The narratives we construct about ourselves and our lives become the lens through which we view reality. These stories we tell ourselves are not just idle thoughts. They have the power to shape our beliefs, behaviors, and even our biological responses. When we repeatedly tell ourselves negative stories – "I'm not good enough," "I'll never succeed," "No one loves me" – our brains internalize these messages and wire themselves accordingly. Conversely, when we tell ourselves positive stories – "I am capable," "I am worthy," "I am loved" – our brains respond by releasing feel-good chemicals that reinforce these beliefs. This is not just wishful thinking; it is a biological process that can have profound effects on our mental and physical well-being. The stories we tell ourselves can also influence how we interact with the world. If we see ourselves as victims, we may constantly feel threatened and defensive. If we see ourselves as resilient, we may approach challenges with a sense of agency and empowerment. This concept is particularly powerful when applied to trauma. Traumatic experiences can shatter our sense of self and leave us feeling broken and powerless. The stories we tell ourselves about these experiences – "I am damaged," "I can never heal," "I am alone" – can further entrench our trauma responses. But by reframing our narratives – "I am strong," "I can heal," "I am not alone" – we can begin to reshape our reality. This process is not easy, and it often requires professional support and self-reflection. But by changing the stories we tell ourselves, we can reclaim agency over our lives and move towards healing and growth.
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