I from "summary" of Water from My Heart by Charles Martin
I don’t know how to explain what I did or what I saw. I don’t know how to explain the things that I’ve seen or done. I can tell you that I’ve lived a life of violence, of horror, of pain. I can tell you that I’ve seen things that would make you question everything you thought you knew about the world. But I can’t explain it. I can’t make you understand what it’s like to look into the eyes of another human being and see nothing but darkness staring back at you. I can’t tell you how it feels to hold a gun in your hand and know that you have the power to take another person’s life. I can’t explain the rush that comes with that kind of power, the way it makes you feel alive in a way that nothing else can. I can’t make you understand the weight of carrying that kind of knowledge with you every single day, knowing that you are capable of such terrible things. I can’t explain the guilt that comes with it, the way it eats away at you from the inside out. I can’t tell you what it’s like to wake up in the middle of the night, drenched in sweat, your heart pounding in your chest ...
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