Both partners play a role in rebuilding trust from "summary" of The State of Affairs by Esther Perel
Rebuilding trust after an affair is not solely the responsibility of the offending partner. Both partners must actively engage in the process in order to heal and move forward. It is a collaborative effort that requires mutual understanding, empathy, and commitment. The partner who has been cheated on may feel a range of emotions, from anger and sadness to confusion and disbelief. It is essential for them to express these feelings openly and honestly, without fear of judgment or retaliation. This vulnerability is necessary for rebuilding trust, as it allows for true emotional connection and healing to take place. The offending partner must also take responsibility for their actions and show genuine remorse for the pain they have caused. This involves being transparent about their intentions, actions, and feelings leading up to and during the affair. They must be willing to listen to their partner’s hurt and anger without becoming defensive or dismissive. Communication is key in rebuilding trust. Both partners must be willing to have difficult conversations, address underlying issues, and work together to establish new boundaries and expectations moving forward. This process may be uncomfortable and challenging, but it is necessary for rebuilding a strong foundation of trust. Forgiveness is also a crucial component of rebuilding trust. This does not mean forgetting or excusing the affair, but rather letting go of the anger and resentment that can hinder the healing process. Both partners must be willing to forgive and move forward, while also acknowledging the pain and betrayal that occurred.- Rebuilding trust after an affair requires patience, understanding, and a willingness to work through the pain together. It is a process that takes time and effort, but with dedication and commitment from both partners, it is possible to heal and strengthen the relationship.
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