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Healthy conflicts involve active listening and validation from "summary" of The Relationship Cure by John Gottman, PhD,Joan DeClaire

When it comes to conflict in relationships, it's essential to remember that healthy conflicts involve active listening and validation. Active listening means truly tuning in to what your partner is saying, without interrupting or thinking about your response while they're speaking. It requires you to focus on their words, their tone, and their body language, in order to fully understand their perspective. Validation is about acknowledging your partner's feelings and point of view, even if you don't necessarily agree with them. It's a way of saying, "I hear you, and I understand where you're coming from." Validation doesn't mean you have to give in to their point of view, but rather it shows empathy and respect for their feelings. When you practice active listening and validation during conflicts, you create a safe space for open communication and understanding. Instead of escalating the conflict with defensiveness or criticism, you can work together to find a resolution that satisfies both parties. This kind of approach fosters trust and intimacy in the relationship, as both partners feel heard and respected. On the other hand, when active listening and validation are lacking in conflicts, it can lead to misunderstandings, hurt feelings, and unresolved issues. Ignoring your partner's perspective or dismissing their feelings can create distance and resentment in the relationship. Without effective communication and validation, conflicts can spiral out of control and damage the connection between partners. By prioritizing active listening and validation in conflicts, you show your partner that their feelings and opinions matter to you. You demonstrate a willingness to understand their perspective and work together towards a solution. This approach not only strengthens the bond between partners but also builds a foundation of trust and respect that can weather any storm.
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    The Relationship Cure

    John Gottman, PhD

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