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Emotional bids are opportunities to connect with your partner from "summary" of The Relationship Cure by John Gottman, PhD,Joan DeClaire
When your partner makes an emotional bid, they are not just making a random comment or asking a simple question. They are actually giving you an opportunity to connect with them on a deeper level. These bids can come in many forms - a smile, a joke, a complaint, or even a simple request for attention. The key is to recognize these bids for what they truly are: invitations to engage and strengthen your bond. By responding positively to your partner's emotional bids, you are showing them that you care, that you are present, and that you are willing to invest in the relationship. This can create a sense of safety and security in the relationship, which is essential for maintaining a strong connection over time. On the other hand, ignoring or dismissing these bids can have a negative impact on the relationship, leading to feelings of disconnection and resentment. It is important to pay attention to both the content and the context of your partner's bids. What are they really trying to communicate? What are they feeling in that moment? By tuning in to your partner's emotional cues and responding with empathy and understanding, you can deepen your emotional connection and build a stronger foundation for your relationship. In order to effectively respond to your partner's bids, you need to be present and engaged in the moment. Put down your phone, turn off the TV, and give your partner your full attention. Show them that you value their emotions and that you are willing to actively participate in the relationship. This kind of responsiveness can foster trust, intimacy, and a sense of partnership between you and your partner. Remember, emotional bids are not just about the words that are spoken - they are about the emotions that underlie those words. By attuning yourself to your partner's emotional cues and responding in a supportive and loving way, you can create a more fulfilling and meaningful connection in your relationship. So, the next time your partner makes an emotional bid, see it as an opportunity to deepen your bond and strengthen your love for each other.
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