Contempt is toxic; replace it with admiration and gratitude from "summary" of The Relationship Cure by John Gottman, PhD,Joan DeClaire
Contempt is like a slow-acting poison that can gradually erode the foundation of a relationship. When one partner feels contempt towards the other, it can lead to a sense of superiority and disdain that is damaging to the connection between them. This toxic emotion can manifest itself in subtle ways, such as eye-rolling, sarcasm, or a condescending tone of voice. These behaviors may seem harmless at first, but over time they can create a deep sense of resentment and hurt.
In order to counteract contempt, it is important to cultivate feelings of admiration and gratitude towards your partner. By focusing on the positive aspects of your relationship and expressing appreciation for your partner's strengths and qualities, you can foster a sense of goodwill and connection. Admiration involves looking up to your partner and valuing their unique attributes, while gratitude involves acknowledging and appreciating the things they do for you.
When you replace contempt with admiration and gratitude, you create a more positive and supportive atmosphere in your relationship. Instead of tearing each other down, you build each other up and strengthen your bond. This shift in perspective can have a powerful impact on the way you interact with your partner and can help to create a more harmonious and fulfilling relationship.
By practicing admiration and gratitude on a regular basis, you can cultivate a deeper sense of connection and intimacy with your partner. This involves making a conscious effort to focus on the positive aspects of your relationship and to express your appreciation for each other openly and honestly. In doing so, you can create a more loving and supportive partnership that is built on mutual respect and admiration.
In the end, the choice to replace contempt with admiration and gratitude is a powerful one that can transform your relationship for the better. By choosing to see the best in your partner and to express your appreciation for them, you can create a more positive and fulfilling connection that is based on love, respect, and mutual admiration.
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