Submission and headship are misunderstood concepts in marriage from "summary" of The Meaning of Marriage by Timothy Keller,Kathy Keller
The concept of submission and headship in marriage is often misunderstood and misinterpreted. Many people view these terms through the lens of power dynamics and hierarchy, assuming that the husband has authority over his wife and the wife must obey him unquestioningly. However, this simplistic understanding fails to capture the true essence of submission and headship as outlined in the Bible. In Ephesians 5:21-33, the apostle Paul describes the dynamic between husbands and wives in terms of mutual submission and sacrificial love. He instructs husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church, giving himself up for her, and wives to submit to their husbands as to the Lord. This mutual submission and sacrificial love are meant to reflect the relationship between Christ and the church, where Christ is the head of the church and gave himself up for her. Submission in marriage does not imply inferiority or passivity on the part of the wife, nor does headship mean domination or control by the husband. Instead, both submission and headship are rooted in love and selflessness. As Keller and Keller explain, "Submission is the voluntary yielding of one person to another in love. It is choosing to defer, and to enable the other to flourish and be what God created him or her to be." Headship, on the other hand, is a call to sacrificial leadership and responsibility. The husband is called to lead his wife not for his own benefit or power, but for her flourishing and well-being. He is to imitate Christ in his sacrificial love and servant leadership, putting his wife's needs above his own. In a healthy marriage, both spouses willingly submit to one another out of love and respect. They recognize each other's strengths and weaknesses, seeking to build each other up and support each other in their respective roles. Submission and headship are not about power struggles or dominance, but about serving and caring for one another in a spirit of humility and love.- The true meaning of submission and headship in marriage is a reflection of the selfless love and mutual respect that should characterize the relationship between Christ and his church. It is a beautiful and profound expression of God's design for marriage, where both husband and wife work together in harmony to create a partnership that glorifies God and blesses each other.
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