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Selfcenteredness is the root cause of marital problems from "summary" of The Meaning of Marriage by Timothy Keller,Kathy Keller

In marriage, self-centeredness is like a weed that slowly chokes the life out of a beautiful garden. It is the root cause of many problems that couples face, leading to arguments, misunderstandings, and ultimately, a breakdown in communication. When one or both partners are focused solely on their own needs and desires, it creates a toxic environment where love and understanding cannot thrive. Self-centeredness breeds resentment and selfishness, as each partner becomes more concerned with getting their own way than with working together as a team. This selfish mindset can lead to a lack of empathy and compassion towards one another, making it difficult to truly connect on a deep emotional level. Instead of putting the needs of their spouse first, self-centered individuals prioritize their own happiness above all else, leading to feelings of neglect and dissatisfaction in the relationship. Marriage is a partnership that requires both individuals to be selfless and willing to compromise for the greater good of the union. When self-centeredness takes root, it erodes the foundation of the marriage, causing cracks to form in the once solid bond between husband and wife. Communication breaks down, trust diminishes, and intimacy wanes, leaving both partners feeling isolated and alone in their struggles. To combat self-centeredness in marriage, couples must learn to prioritize the needs of their spouse above their own. This requires a shift in mindset towards a more selfless approach to love and partnership. By focusing on the well-being and happiness of their partner, individuals can cultivate a stronger, more resilient relationship built on mutual respect and understanding. In the end, self-centeredness is a destructive force that can tear apart even the strongest of marriages. It is only by recognizing this toxic behavior and actively working to combat it that couples can hope to overcome their differences and build a lasting, fulfilling partnership based on love, trust, and mutual respect.
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    The Meaning of Marriage

    Timothy Keller

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