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Roughhousing can help children learn selfcontrol from "summary" of The Art of Roughhousing by Anthony T. DeBenedet, M.D,Lawrence J. Cohen, Ph.D.

Roughhousing is not just about letting kids blow off steam. It's about learning self-control in the midst of chaos. When children engage in rough play, they have to constantly adjust their behavior to the ever-changing situation. They need to learn when to push harder and when to back off, when to be gentle and when to be firm. In these moments of intensity, they are developing their ability to regulate their emotions and actions. Through roughhousing, children learn to read social cues and understand boundaries. They learn to recognize when their playmate is getting overwhelmed and needs a break. They learn to respect each other's limits and communicate effectively. This is crucial for building healthy relationships both in childhood and later in life. When children roughhouse, they are constantly negotiating and compromising, honing their ability to navigate social interactions with finesse. In the heat of rough play, children's brains are firing on all cylinders. They are making split-second decisions, coordinating their movements, and problem-solving on the fly. This high level of cognitive engagement is essential for developing executive functions like impulse control and decision-making. It's like a mental workout that strengthens their self-regulation skills and prepares them for the challenges of everyday life. Roughhousing is a safe space for children to experiment with risk-taking and failure. In the controlled chaos of play, they can test their limits and learn from their mistakes without fear of serious consequences. They can push themselves to their edge and discover that they are capable of more than they thought. This builds resilience and confidence, empowering them to take on new challenges with courage and resilience. By embracing roughhousing as a valuable form of play, we can help children cultivate the self-control they need to succeed in a complex and ever-changing world. It's not just about letting kids be kids—it's about giving them the tools they need to thrive. So let them wrestle, tumble, and roughhouse to their heart's content. It's not just fun and games—it's a powerful way to foster self-control and resilience in the next generation.
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    The Art of Roughhousing

    Anthony T. DeBenedet, M.D

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