Selfishness and possessiveness are not love from "summary" of The Art of Loving by Erich Fromm
Love is a complex emotion that often gets misunderstood and distorted in our society. Many people mistake selfishness and possessiveness for love, but in reality, they are far from it. Selfishness is the opposite of love because it focuses solely on one's own needs and desires, without considering the well-being of others. Possessiveness, on the other hand, is a form of control and domination over another person, which is not love at all.
When we are selfish in a relationship, we are only thinking about what we can get out of it, rather than what we can give. Love is about giving selflessly, without expecting anything in return. It is about putting the needs and happiness of the other person above our own. Selfishness, on the other hand, is about taking and using the other person for our own gratification. It is a self-centered way of relating to others that ultimately leads to dissatisfaction and resentment.
Possessiveness is another distortion of love that is often mistaken for genuine affection. When we are possessive of someone, we try to control and manipulate them to fulfill our own needs and desires. This is not love, but rather a form of emotional dependence that can be suffocating and damaging to both parties. True love is about freedom and respect for the other person's autonomy. It is about supporting their growth and development, even if it means letting them go.
In order to cultivate a healthy and loving relationship, we must let go of our selfish desires and possessive tendencies. We must learn to love unconditionally, without expecting anything in return. This requires a deep understanding and acceptance of ourselves and others, as well as a willingness to grow and change together. Love is not about control or ownership, but about mutual respect, trust, and understanding. It is a bond that transcends selfish desires and possessive impulses, and instead focuses on the well-being and happiness of the other person. Love is a choice we make every day, to put the needs of others before our own, and to nurture a relationship based on trust, respect, and compassion.
