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Love is not just a feeling, but a decision and a commitment from "summary" of The Art of Loving by Erich Fromm

Love is often misunderstood as simply a feeling that comes and goes, a passive emotion that we have no control over. However, this is not the case. Love is not just a feeling; it is a decision we make, a commitment we choose to uphold. It is an active, ongoing process that requires effort and dedication. When we view love as solely a feeling, we become passive recipients of love, waiting for it to come to us rather than actively engaging in the act of loving. We may feel love for someone one day, but if we do not actively choose to commit to them and make the effort to nurture and sustain that love, it will inevitably fade away. True love involves a conscious decision to love someone, to prioritize their wellbeing and happiness, even when it is difficult or inconvenient. It requires us to set aside our own selfish desires and ego, and to truly consider the needs and feelings of our partner. Love is not about what we can get from the other person, but what we can give. Commitment is a crucial aspect of love, as it signifies our willingness to stand by our partner through thick and thin, to weather the storms of life together. It is a promise we make to be there for them, to support and care for them, no matter what challenges may arise. Without commitment, love is fragile and easily broken. In order to truly love someone, we must actively choose to love them each and every day, through our words, actions, and intentions. It is a continuous process of showing up for the other person, of being present and attentive, of listening and understanding. Love is a verb, an action that requires effort and intention.
  1. Love is a decision we make, a commitment we choose to uphold, regardless of our fleeting emotions or external circumstances. It is a conscious choice to prioritize the wellbeing and happiness of our partner, to stand by them through thick and thin. Love is not just a feeling; it is a way of being in the world, a way of relating to others with empathy, compassion, and care.
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The Art of Loving

Erich Fromm

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