Assertively express needs from "summary" of Mind Over Mood, Second Edition by Dennis Greenberger,Christine A. Padesky
Assertively expressing your needs involves clearly and confidently communicating what you want or require from others. It is about speaking up for yourself in a way that is respectful and direct, without being aggressive or passive. When you assertively express your needs, you are effectively advocating for yourself and setting boundaries in your relationships.
Assertiveness allows you to communicate your desires, preferences, and limits in a way that is honest and straightforward. By expressing your needs assertively, you are more likely to be heard and understood by others. This can lead to improved communication and greater mutual respect in your interactions with friends, family, and colleagues.
Assertiveness involves using "I" statements to express your needs and feelings, rather than blaming or criticizing others. For example, instead of saying, "You never listen to me," you could say, "I feel frustrated when I don't feel heard." This approach helps to focus on your own experiences and emotions, rather than placing blame on the other person.
When assertively expressing your needs, it is important to be specific about what you are asking for and to be clear about your expectations. Avoid vague or ambiguous language that can lead to misunderstandings. Clearly stating what you want or need, and how others can support you, can help to ensure that your needs are met in a respectful and effective manner.
Practicing assertiveness can be challenging, especially if you are accustomed to being passive or aggressive in your communication style. However, by learning and applying assertive communication skills, you can become more confident in expressing your needs and asserting yourself in various situations. This can lead to increased self-esteem and a greater sense of empowerment in your relationships and interactions with others.