Lies can be forgiven but not forgotten from "summary" of Lying by Sam Harris
The idea that lies can be forgiven but not forgotten is a familiar one. We have all experienced the sting of betrayal when someone we trust lies to us. While we may be able to forgive that person and move on, the memory of their deception lingers. It colors our future interactions with them, casting a shadow of doubt over everything they say. This concept is explored in depth by Sam Harris in his book 'Lying'. Harris argues that when we lie, we not only betray the trust of others but also damage our own integrity. Even if we are able to ask for forgiveness and be granted it, the fact remains that we have deceived someone. That knowledge cannot be erased, no matter how much we may wish it to be. Harris suggests that the best course of action when faced with the temptation to lie is to simply tell the truth. While this may be difficult in the moment, it ultimately leads to a more fulfilling and authentic life. By being honest with others, we build trust and foster deeper connections. And, perhaps most importantly, we can look ourselves in the mirror without shame. When we lie, we not only harm our relationships with others but also damage our own sense of self-worth. We know that we have acted in a way that is beneath us, and that knowledge is hard to shake. Even if we are able to move past the lie and be forgiven, the memory of it lingers, a constant reminder of our own fallibility. In the end, Harris argues that lying is not only harmful to those we deceive but also to ourselves. It erodes our integrity and undermines the trust we have worked so hard to build. While forgiveness may be possible, forgetting is another matter entirely. The memory of a lie can haunt us long after it has been forgiven, a constant reminder of the damage we have done.
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