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Love is not a feeling, it is a choice from "summary" of Loving Like You Mean It by Ronald J. Frederick

Love is not a feeling, it is a choice. This concept may seem counterintuitive at first, especially in a culture that romanticizes the idea of falling in love as something that happens to us, beyond our control. We are bombarded with messages that tell us love should be easy, effortless, and always accompanied by intense emotions. However, the reality is that love is much more complex and nuanced than that. When we view love as solely a feeling, we are setting ourselves up for disappointment. Feelings are transient and can change based on external circumstances or our own internal state. If we rely solely on our feelings to dictate our actions in a relationship, we may find ourselves constantly at the mercy of our emotions, leading to instability and inconsistency in how we show love to our partner. Choosing to love, on the other hand, requires a conscious decision to prioritize our partner's well-being and to actively engage in behaviors that nurture the relationship. It means showing up for our partner even when we don't feel like it, and putting in the effort to communicate effectively, resolve conflicts, and support each other through the ups and downs of life. This does not mean ignoring our feelings or suppressing them, but rather recognizing that love is more than just a fleeting emotion. It is an ongoing commitment that requires dedication, effort, and a willingness to grow and change together. When we choose to love, we are taking responsibility for our actions and their impact on our relationship, rather than passively waiting for love to happen to us.
  1. Choosing to love is a mindset shift that empowers us to take control of our relationships and actively work towards building a strong and enduring connection with our partner. It requires us to be intentional in our words and actions, and to prioritize the well-being of our partner above our own desires or impulses. By making the choice to love, we are investing in the long-term success of our relationship and creating a foundation of trust, respect, and mutual support that can withstand the challenges that come our way.
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Loving Like You Mean It

Ronald J. Frederick

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