Use "I" statements instead of "you" statements from "summary" of How to Talk So Teens Will Listen and Listen So Teens Will Talk by Adele Faber,Elaine Mazlish
When you're communicating with your teenager, it's important to be mindful of the language you use. One key concept to keep in mind is to use "I" statements instead of "you" statements. This simple shift in language can make a big difference in how your message is received. When you use "you" statements, it can come across as accusatory or confrontational, which can lead to defensiveness and resistance from your teenager. For example, saying "You never listen to me" can put your teen on the defensive and make them less likely to hear what you have to say. On the other hand, using "I" statements allows you to express your feelings and experiences without placing blame on your teenager. For example, saying "I feel frustrated when I don't feel heard" shifts the focus to your own feelings and experiences, making it easier for your teenager to empathize with you. Using "I" statements can also help you to communicate more effectively with your teenager. By expressing your own feelings and experiences, you can create a more open and honest dialogue, fostering better communication and understanding between you and your teen. So the next time you find yourself wanting to say "you" statements to your teenager, try reframing your message using "I" statements instead. This simple change in language can help you to communicate more effectively and build a stronger connection with your teenager.
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