Use Imessages to express feelings and needs from "summary" of How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk by Adele Faber,Elaine Mazlish
When we communicate with our children, it is important to express our feelings and needs clearly. One effective way to do this is by using "I-messages." Instead of blaming or accusing our children, we can take responsibility for our own feelings and needs. For example, instead of saying, "You never listen to me," we can say, "I feel frustrated when I don't feel heard."By using I-messages, we can avoid triggering defensiveness in our children. When we express our feelings and needs in a non-confrontational way, we open up the possibility for a constructive dialogue. Our children are more likely to listen and respond positively when they feel understood and respected. I-messages can also help us model healthy communication for our children. When they see us expressing our feelings and needs in a clear and respectful manner, they are more likely to do the same. This can lead to better understanding and stronger relationships within the family. It is important to remember that using I-messages does not mean ignoring or dismissing our children's feelings and needs. It simply means taking ownership of our own emotions and expressing them in a way that fosters understanding and connection. By being vulnerable and honest with our children, we can create a more open and supportive environment for communication.- Expressing feelings and needs through I-messages is a powerful tool for effective communication with our children. It can help us avoid conflict, promote understanding, and build stronger relationships. By practicing this skill regularly, we can create a more harmonious and respectful family dynamic.
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