Validate feelings from "summary" of How to Stop Losing Your Sh*t with Your Kids by Carla Naumburg
When your child is upset, it can be really challenging to stay calm and respond in a supportive way. You might feel like they're overreacting or being unreasonable, and you might want to dismiss their feelings or try to talk them out of it. But validating their feelings is essential for building a strong and healthy relationship with them. When you validate your child's feelings, you're essentially telling them that it's okay to feel the way they do. You're showing them that you understand and accept their emotions, even if you don't necessarily agree with their perspective. This can help them feel heard and supported, which can go a long way in helping them regulate their emotions and feel more connected to you.
Validating your child's feelings doesn't mean you have to agree with them or give in to their demands. It simply means acknowledging and accepting their emotions as valid and important. You can say things like, "I can see that you're really upset right now," or "It sounds like you're feeling frustrated." This can help your child feel seen and understood, which can help them feel more secure and confident in expressing their emotions.
When you validate your child's feelings, you're also modeling healthy emotional regulation for them. By showing them that it's okay to feel upset or angry, but that it's important to express those emotions in a respectful way, you're teaching them valuable skills that will serve them well throughout their lives. So the next time your child is upset, take a deep breath, remind yourself to stay calm, and validate their feelings. It may not always be easy, but it will go a long way in building a strong and healthy relationship with them.
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